Passive And Assertive Behavior

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Passive Behavior
Definition

  • Needs and wants are taken care of by suppressing them or maneuvering others to take care of them.
  • Also use manipulative behaviors to get others to take care of them.

 
Characteristics

  • Denies needs, subordinates them to others, or manipulates others to take care of them
  • Often plays martyr role
  • Creates conditions in which others will take the lead or make decisions
  • Follower
  • Tries to do what they think others expect of them
  • Lacks self-confidence
  • Easily intimidated and controlled by others
  • Indecisive
  • Moody
  • Occasionally cashes in on stored-up anger and feelings
  • Uncertain about who they are

 
Major Consequences

  • May result in some needs getting met.
  • Often results in sacrificing needs, getting them met in inappropriate ways, and the loss of identity and ability to take care of self.

 
Assertive Behavior
Definition

  • Needs and wants are taken care of by knowing, accepting, and acting on them in constructive, straightforward, and authentic ways.

 
Characteristics

  • Caring
  • Genuine
  • Sensitive to the needs and feelings of others
  • Selfless
  • Expresses needs and feelings in constructive and straightforward ways
  • Persistent without being offensive
  • Levels and confronts from caring and reasonable position
  • Good sense of timing and judgment about when to assert themselves
  • Self-confident
  • Calm in a crisis

 
Major Consequences

  • Able to know and take care of needs in a constructive way without doing so at the expense of others.